Quote of the Day

Some random things I've heard people say...

---

Asshole cop in Flint, MI: What's this in your pocket?
Dan: It's an Altoid.
Asshole cop: Are you sure it's not illegal drugs?
Dan: Well, it IS a curiously strong mint.

"C'mon! Hurry up! Our vaginas are gonna blow! Go! Go! Go!"
--Random drunk lady in the bathroom at the Buffett concert

"I'm sure that he doesn't *mean* to do it, ya know. He doesn't walk around thinking, 'Who am I going to talk to? Who can I annoy the hell out of today?'"
--Dan from work

"So, I'm black. Can I buy you a drink?"
--James Brown

"C'mon, what the fuck? Why are they saying that *you're* trying to steal Chad. *I'm* the one who's trying to do that and no one is paying any attention to *me*!!!!!"
--Stevo

"So, I ate a turkey sandwich. So what? At least it wasn't an ecstacy sandwich!"
--Me to Stevo, while he was berating my choice in food

steVo301103: so what, has erik done some sort of disappearing act?
MissPShush: i don't know. i haven't talked to him since december
MissPShush: and i have no desire to
steVo301103: good thing too, what a fuck
steVo301103: thats so weird, that hes still randomly entering your life
MissPShush: yeah, just a reminder that no matter how bad things are, at least i'm not barb

"You? A dork? No way! You're not a dork! You're the opposite of dork....You are the ANTI-DORK!"
--Don to me

"That's a pretty fucked up superhero to be."
--Me, in response to the above comment

"Having a girl that's just a friend is like having $19 in your bank account and just an ATM card."
--Random guy on TV

"You don't even understand the orgasm in my mouth!"
--Maura

"I hope my girlfriend breaks up with me soon."
"Why, Mike?"
"So, I can marry you!"
--Normal work conversation between me n Stasek

"I'm like M&Ms in Corey's hands. Oops, I mean mouth. Shit, I fucked that up, didn't I?"
--Stasek

"I would have quit college a long time ago if it weren't for the drugs. They had some good drugs."
--Bert

"Before I was an alcoholic, I had so many problems. But now, just one - Alcohol. Really gave my life focus."
--Nick's away message

grvfuel: I miss you so much
grvfuel: you were my best friend ever

"I'm gonna go write a letter to Louis Farrakan now. I hate you white people. That's why I hang out with you every Monday..."
--Don

"Dude--I just called these people who had just finished having sex...."
"Far out!"
"No."
--Stasek n Brian

"I think Dan might give me a run for my money.... Cause I *am* charging him!"
--Two

"I LOVE fucking horses!!! Yeah, maybe I do need to go to that clinic.... Get checked out or something...."
--Two

"You know you have a real friend when she lets you in the bathroom before her. Thanks, girl!"
--Dan, Brubaker's night

"Nothin's more gangsta than a bowtie. C'mon girl, you know that!"
--Kylan

"I wasn't living before I met you? It's been a nightmare *since* I met you!"
--Peggy Schuster

"Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong!"
--Me, in reference to all you can eat shrimps night

"Yeah! And I got a whole roll of quarters!"
--Kylan, in response to the above

"Maybe he's getting too much booty. Not that I think there is a such thing as too much booty, but I'm pretty much in Ethiopia right now..."
--Kylan

"He just doesn't know how lucky he is. He doesn't realize that's not how it is in the real world."
--Kylan

"I just said I would buy you any beer you wanted and you chose Busch bottles?"
--Two

"When she said that, I almost choked on my spit!"
--Sheila

"Ya know, in High Society, they have a 'Rich Bitch of the Month.' I don't know if she's rich or even a bitch. But it don't matter. Cause she's nekkid."
--Kylan

"Man, you never hear about someone back in the day saying 'I was playing with my sword and cut my head off."
--Kylan

"Hey, Twinkletoes! Ya, I'm talking to you, bitch!"
--Doug, to Damion

"He's an idiot."
--Kylan

"I don't think I can suck THAT much cock."
--Eric, on having to pick up the partying slack from Paris Hilton 's impeding jail sentence.